


adrenaline rush [29/52]

by andrea_deer



Series: 52 aspec drabbles/ficlets of 2017 [29]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 52 aspec drabbles, F/M, Figuring Yourself Out, Gray Aromantic Character, M/M, gray aromantic!Dean Winchester, metions season 1 and 4, pre-slash for dastiel, rambling kind of drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 16:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13345518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrea_deer/pseuds/andrea_deer
Summary: For a long while, Dean Winchester thought that falling in love was a scam.29th of 52 aspec drabbles.





	adrenaline rush [29/52]

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't been in this fandom for a long while, have mercy. This didn't turn out like I wanted it to, but I've decided I probably won't do any better for this fandom. I'm too out of touch with it. Hope you enjoy it regardless. :)

For a long while, Dean Winchester thought that falling in love was a scam. 

Hugely exaggerated at best, global conspiracy at worst. Yet another lie that the majority of human beings decided to participate in, passing it on and on until they were willing to believe it themselves. Like _"there's no need to be afraid of the darkness"_ or _"artsy movies are actually any good"_. 

He figured, if he was going to go through all that sweet loving chick flick thing it would have come when he was a teenager. He would go all silly and start writing poems or sing under some poor girl's window or something. He went through that via Sammy's awkward teenager mating rituals, he knew the drill.

But when he fell for Cassy he was almost twenty-five already and of strong conviction that no one really should go through their first romantic feelings past twenty. Too much of a shock, really, because by then you delude yourself you have it all - or at least yourself - figured out. And then suddenly you're overwhelmed by another person just being there. And it's a bit hard to breathe and you constantly feel like you're slightly drunk or at least on a serious sugar high when you're around them. Everything is in extra focus, at least as far as that one person goes, because outside of that small sphere around the two of you things are a bit... fuzzy. 

Dean kind of assumed, judging by all the hype and ridiculously sweet themes, the whole thing was supposed to feel nice.. and like... soft... but it was mildly terrifying most of the time.

And absolutely brilliant.

A bit like doing something dangerous or dumb that really pays off.

Like driving really fast and not getting caught, like having just one day of peace between the hunts and making the best of it, like finally ending the ghost that almost killed you and watching it disappear.

It was like an adrenaline rush that lasted and lasted and just got stronger when Cassie was around.

Of course, like all adrenaline rushes it finally crashed and he licked his wounds and listened to music he will never admit to listening and hated himself for showing the weakness and falling into the whole scam. He was not made for relationships and neither was his life.

The distraction cost him a lot and he cursed himself for giving into it. He thought that there was no worse moment to fall in love than when you were a young hunter finally allowed to go on your own, but as the world was about to burn and Sammy was high on demon blood and Dean got the rush from just looking into the angel's - a fucking angel's - eyes... He realized he needed to reconsider.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](https://archiveofourown.org/works/lordnochybaty.tumblr.com) or come to [my aspec sideblog](http://acesthetically-pleasing.tumblr.com/) for more aspec goodies :)


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